How it All Started
10 years ago, I got on my first plane ride to study abroad in London, England. Little did I know, this 3 week trip would completely change my life. The world opened up for me in ways I didn’t know were possible. And it hasn’t stopped since. This trip taught me a few things about myself. Like how to navigate spaces I’m unfamiliar with, how to venture out on my own, how to appreciate others differences, the proper way to drink black tea, and even what arugula was, LOL. It was here where I saw my first Warhol, Picasso and Salvador Dali, and enjoyed my first solo date and went to my first Opera. It made me fall in love with the experience of deepening the understanding of myself and exploring my interests. Because of this trip, I believe that travel is imperative for growth, self-expression, and self love. Getting outside your normal environment and sphere of influence not only teaches you about others, but it shows you, who you are and helps you discover who you can be. For me, travel is everything. Now, that you know why we’re here, take a little introspective journey with me.
I thought it would be a good idea to start at the beginning because sometimes, when it feels you’ve lost your way, it’s important to go back to the basics; the foundations of why you’ve started your journey in the first place. What we’re gonna do is go back.. Back into time…
June 2014, I went to London England to study the effects of Globalization in a Modern Society with UK First adventures, and had the time of my life. It unlocked another level of myself that I wasn’t privy to and allowed me explore, indulge, and enjoy all of the curiosities that are now woven into my fabric today. And unknowingly, it marked the beginning of my love for photography (actually, in looking back at some of these images, I’m realizing that I had an eye for it all along, before taking it seriously it).
Now, why are we here? Well, because in all honesty, I feel that I’ve lost my way.
In starting Belle’s Palate, I was determined to expand my palate, and hopefully yours along the way. But what is it about doing things for you, for enjoyment, for the simple act of pleasure and being, makes one feel so guilty? Why must everything be done to perfection, or not done at all? What is it about pursuing and acting on your creative passions that feels so vulnerable, intimidating and daunting? Why does this feel selfish, and since when did enjoyment become a privilege?!
We’re not out here saving the world, we’re simply trying to save and love ourselves, yet why is that so hard? Is it fear? Of being seen? Of being perceived? Of failing? Or is it simply the deep rooted fear that Marianne Williamson spoke about: That “our greatest fears is not that we are inadequate, but powerful beyond measure”; and that the very simple act of realizing our power through deepening the relationship with self exposes us to a version of ourselves of which no one has seen yet. Who does that person look like? Who am I when I am my most powerful?
I imagine this is me at my most powerful: Cheesin’ hard, Gryffindor scarf blowing in the wind, foot kicked up, ready to take on a new world. Literally.
Who am I to others when I am everything to me?
We’re conditioned to live for others, to put the needs of others before our own and go for the things that are safe, but what happens when we give that attention to ourselves? What if the the unexplored depths of ourselves are the very things that bring us the safety, love, and joy we desire?
Is this too deep for the re-intro? If so, my apologies, but these are the thoughts that plague my mind on a daily. In my life, as a young black woman, first-gen college graduate, from a LIH, (is this equivalent to the alphabet brigade but in black trauma? Also no shade to the LGBTQ+ community, I love you.) I’ve made it a point to strive for all that I’ve desired with no hesitation. And in that, I’ve overcame quite a bit of adversity. (thank heavens I don’t look like what I’ve gone through!) I’ve achieved quite a bit in my life to some degree, but there is so much more I want to do. In attempting to carve out parts of the world that I feel safe in, and jumping into unfamiliar waters, such as this creative space we call Belle’s Palate, I began to ask, who am I if not in service to others? I began to believe, if I put myself and my wants first, how can I be everything I know myself to be (i.e. the first, the oldest, the role model, the fixer, etc.)? And when did my fearless ass become so fearful?
But through this journey, I now understand that many truths can exist at once.
Belle’s Palate can be everything to some, and nothing to others. It can be for me to enjoy, and others to enjoy, or not. I’m removing the pressure I put on this creative act to “perform”; a pressure that I have put on myself throughout my life for far too long. In this journey of building a personal brand/blog/art/content— whatever you call it— I’m realizing that something doesn’t have to serve to be enjoyed, or to be worthy of existing. That perfection and the progression of self cannot share the same seat, though they can admire and inspire one another. That just because I am moving towards bringing my creative passions to life, and for once, truly living for me, that it doesn’t mean I’ve stopped helping others.
So, for this next phase of Belle’s Palate, I’m getting back to the basics..
To the foundations of why I began this journey: To simply be, exist, and enjoy my interests and this journey called life. What is a life if not to be lived or expanded through the loving and exploration of self? One of my favorite influencers, Melissa’s Wardrobe says all the time, “Life is for the Living”, and I couldn’t agree with her more. Earlier I mentioned we’re not saving the world, but I believe with the radical act of self love, release of expectation, and true faith and courage to take action on the things that have been placed on our heart, we’re undoubtedly shining our light on the world; even when that light is the size of a pocket flashlight, you’ll guide someone in the dark.
In this next chapter, we’ll explore, travel, eat well, and drink good. We’ll laugh, get creative, and even get a little deep, because that’s just how I am. I want this to be a place that grows, expands, and changes with no expectations, just as I aspire to live.
And as a member of the Belle’s Palate community (thank you for your subscription!), I hope you feel the courage to seek agency over your life to do the same. We’re bringing back YOLO (no Drizzy)! We’re being everything we want in this world, because who are we if not who we’re meant to be? So let’s chat about it! Let’s romanticize our lives. Let’s find our joy. Let’s get vulnerable! Let’s uncover our passions! Let’s grow together, and let’s expand our palates.
THIS is the beginning.
Baby’s first postcard from the sky.
London, I love you forever. Thank you.
-N’Deyah Belle
